Busy...Loving Life!

I haven't been the best at keeping up with my blog. Sure I have written a few post but I haven't published anything in sometime now. I've been super busy with school, work, church, & just craft time in my free time! I will post photos of those and other events soon. (maybe: no promises)  I have been in Texas for the holidays and I'm LOVING it here! I just feel so blessed to be able to see my family and spend this wonderful time with them. I love seeing the kids run around with no care in the world. No worries, no stress, no problems. Shouldn't we all live like that? That would be nice! Well, we can! We can choose to live just like the kids. Stop complaining and enjoy life!

For now I say: Love Living Life!

I have a big day tomorrow (12/29/2012), I might post about it on Sunday. If not, well, i'll post something in the new year!!

Sharing Songs Sunday

Trying something new:

Not My Photo

I figured since I get songs stuck in my head all the time I should do something about it. Now since the songs I tend to get stuck in the crazy head of mine often are songs that my friends haven't heard. Well, to be honest I would rather share the songs so people don't look at me crazy when I'm humming a "weird" song. :)  

I don't want to sound like a "hipster" but the songs that I typically listen to are not that of mainstream (BUT not always, I do listen to mainstream music) Also, Its not all NEW music. Some of the songs will be years old! Like I said its just songs that get stuck in my crazy world. So I hope you enjoy a song or two! I'll try to post a new post with songs on Sundays, hints the title Sharing Songs Sunday!  

For the first post I figured why not start our with an artist with my same first name! This is Jessica Lee Mayfield - Our Hearts Are Wrong. 

Another Song that I've been listening to a ton lately is this song by Thrice -Moving Mountains. 

Here is one more artist for those that just want to hear something that's a bit more upbeat (and newer) This song is by Baiyu -Take A Number. (((This is just one song but this album is uber dope!!)))

Korean Song!

PSY - GANGNAM STYLE

Since my uncle happens to be in Korea right now for the army. He often updates us on the latest Korean trends! He sent me this video of a song that was blasting every corner of the town. A few weeks after I had been playing this song, it went viral! I now hear it everywhere! For those of you who have yet to see or hear this Korean song here it is! Enjoy Psy from Korea & Dance Along!!! :)

http://youtu.be/9bZkp7q19f0

I am that Girl.

I never thought I would be that girl to show my emotions.

I never thought I would be that girl to let my guard down.

I never thought I would be that girl watching novellas with my Tia.

I never thought I would be that girl wanting and wishing to speak more Spanish in my life.

I never thought I would be that girl living in a city.

I never thought I would be that girl who is known to be from Texas.

I never thought I would be that girl that would have a relationship with GOD.

I never thought I would be that girl to get over past struggles.

I never thought I would be that girl to have past struggles.

I never thought I would be that girl to write a blog.

I never thought I would be the girl to help others.

I never thought I would be the girl that mattered.

I am that girl

The girl that is important.

Missions Trip:

South America:

As some of you might know, I was going to attend a missions trip this August. I keep thinking about Columbia and the missions trip; I still have my heart with the mission I so strongly felt God had called me to do. My heart is a bit torn, I had never felt more called to do this trip than anything else in my life, but I am not going. I am not there; not that I'm trying to avoid or misinterpret my thoughts and feelings. Trust me, this sucks! I questioned my purpose for going though. I do believe I should be doing something but maybe this just isn't the time and place? What ever it is, this has taught me that even if your plan looks absolutely flawless, things change. You have to grow, overcome and move on. Right now at this very moment, I though I would be standing in Columbia. For whatever reason that I'm not and instead sitting here writing this blog. Maybe someone reading this will benefit?? Not sure what to think....just puzzled. I felt a bit like GOD was just playing with my emotions (which i'll talk more about in a later blog). I was falling into a depression, feeling lost, not knowing if I was hearing god or making things up in my head. Call me crazy, but I thought I was certain and for a moment I felt like I had meaning, like I mattered. Then it all seemed to fall apart. I did learn a few things out of this but it's still hard to admit and acknowledge my flaws and fears.

Reflection On Love

Love:

Thomas Aquinas said that love is willing the good of the other as other, really wanting what is best for someone else.

I’ve never found this to be more true till now, I’ve grown up thinking I knew what “love” is, because I’ve grown up with such love around me, but I never truly understood what it honestly meant. Surly I should have known since I have family and friends that love me. So why did it take me so long to comprehend what “love” really means? I mean it’s not like I’ve been cold hearted and hateful. Sure I’ve had my time when I wasn’t the best but does that mean I didn’t love? I didn’t love anybody and instead in a miserable state of mind and not realizing the negativity I was creating? I don’t think this was the complete picture, rather a partial image of destructive thoughts. I have loved my entire life, just didn’t recognize when I didn’t love. When I didn’t love myself for the mistakes I’ve made. When I didn’t love a friend ‘cause I thought they were being selfish when instead it was myself who was self-centered. When a stranger did something strange and I was quick to judge. Now, I’m not saying I’m perfect and I love EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE, but I am learning. Learning to recognize when something is done out of Love other than egotistical rewards. Self-gratification isn’t what I strive for; I don’t think it should be something you do your utmost efforts for.

Just a bit of food for thoughts: Stop and reflect on it and think about how love has been in your own life. Have you been wiling the good of the other as other? I know I have to remind myself to do this ‘cause far too often I tend to get lost in an ego-driven world.

This man has taught me so much, I don't think he realizes the impact he has been in my life. He has taught me how to love and that family is everything even when you feel the world is against you. He has taught me what hard work looks like. He has taught me how to be grateful and thankful for everything in your life, even when it feels like you have nothing. He has taught me that when you feel alone and fragile, you still matter to someone. Be brave, be strong, fight for what you stand for, love with all your heart, and thank GOD for it all.

This is my Great-Grandfather: Love him! 

Thomas & Ashlie Boyer

What a wonderful couple to photograph: Congratulations Thomas & Ashlie Boyer! It was such a pleasure to be a part of your special day. I'm glad I was able to witness such a beautiful celebration of love! From the dress to dancing everything is as beautiful as you make it to be, all of it is such a blessing.

Appreciative

Here we are again, questioning “life”. This time around though I had a really great friend tell me something that struck my core. Normally I take my friends thoughts and opinions into consideration. I might not always choose to follow what they might have to say, but I do listen. Recently though I found myself hearing what they had to say but not listening to what they were truly telling me. As I was questioning my life and my purpose in what I was doing a friend told me “Jess you’re not GOD; quite trying to be GOD” I told her ‘yeah I know this I’m not trying to be GOD just trying to do what is right.’ Turns out…She was completely right! I knew what she meant but it didn’t hit me until a few days later. Along with other random acts of what I feel was God telling me…Jess just shut up and listen. I am so thankful for that friend rightfully being strict and honest with me. She had told me the same thing countless of times and it was this particular time that just stuck and opened my eyes. I needed it and I am extremely grateful and thankful for her.

This is not to say that my life is perfect but I do have a better perspective on my life again.

So to this friend I tell you THANKS!! Thanks for being honest, truthful even if and when it hurts to hear the truth. Most of all I say thanks for being an amazing friend! I’m so glad GOD has placed you in my life (he knows how much I need you) lol. Also, since you got married your familia now!

Silence

Music, Photography, Film Production, Art, Family, Friends, and most of all GOD.

These things are what keep me alive. The essence of my life flourishes on my faith. I still don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing in my life, but I pray I’m on the right path. So when I get scared and often times I do, I try to remind myself to stop and be thankful for everything I have in my life. It’s not always easy to do and more than often I get knocked down feeling alone and torn apart on “life”.  I know that my struggles aren’t meaningless, the pain is far too much to be ignored, but I repeatedly hide them from the surface I face. Truly, you all know my life isn’t perfect nobody’s life is, so please stop telling me that mine is. I can’t take back the words I never said, but I promise myself that I will not hide behind the silence. 

New Page!

Not sure if I should really be doing this or if its just boredom taking over....but I started a new facebook fan page for my photography. Please LIKE and share the page and I will continue to update the page! Thanks Everyone! www.facebook.com/focophotoography

Thoughts on Photography

June 2, 2012
On this specific day, I was able to witness 2 beautiful weddings. At any wedding I often wonder, What makes this special. Is it having family and friends surround you? Is it being united with your one true love for the rest of your life? Surly these things are important, but what makes it special? I have a theory that its the little moments throughout a wedding day that make it special. It's the unexpected jokes that the groom might make. Its the tears of mixed emotions that the bride shows just before getting ready. Not because she is uncertain about marriage, but because she doesn't have the flowers she wanted. (and yes, I've seen this happen). Its when you see that last glance from a father as he gives away his daughter. Its when you see the bride look in the mirror knowing the love that awaits her.   Anyhow, I love seeing these moments and honest if it wasn't for being privileged enough to be a photographer at weddings I don't think I would ever get to see these moments. Some moments are just unexplainable. Incredible times and might I add extremely stressful times in being a wedding photographer. I never saw myself as a "wedding photographer" but for some reason GOD keeps giving me these jobs. I was reluctant to accept the idea of just simply being a photographer. What makes a photographer? Do I have what it takes? I'm still not sure what is to come, or should I say what GOD has planned for me. If its photography, then so it shall be; we will just wait and see.

Below are just a few Pics from Kristen & Adam's Wedding.